He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Two words: blizzard sex
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The air taste purple.
Randomize