i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
