You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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