maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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