eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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