well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
