wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
