Will you blow on my dice?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
