That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
