tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
