Tell her she can't have a vagina
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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