whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
