smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
