i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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