I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
