so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
