We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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