Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
