i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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