I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
it's great music for shaving your balls
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
