You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
