If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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