Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
A bitchslap is in order.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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