It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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