i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
