She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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