North Korea, Best Korea!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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