the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
