He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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