Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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