Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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