Pappa wants mamma naked
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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