Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
