I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
