I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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