you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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