Dual....:-)
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
