Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
