My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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