It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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