what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
