yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
