why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
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I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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