I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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