And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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