you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
50% drunk capacity currently
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
