The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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