Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
