chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
