I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
