i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
