if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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