He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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