You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
