apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize