And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
