Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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