Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.

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  (586): If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete. http://tfl.nu/258x
  Replies (8) Good night (1981) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.

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  (606): I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now. <3 Russia http://tfl.nu/k3de
  Replies (72) Good night (6429) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  It'll hurt less than being alone

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  (407): my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much (1-407): It'll hurt less than being alone http://tfl.nu/6ydx
  Replies (12) Good night (4532) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.

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  (925): no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes. http://tfl.nu/3pwk
  Replies (13) Good night (5524) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.

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  (303): You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you. http://tfl.nu/1hxd
  Replies (22) Good night (4679) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.

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  (978): and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic. http://tfl.nu/tsdy
  Replies (26) Good night (626) Bad night (4623) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?

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  (614): i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy? http://tfl.nu/94d5
  Replies (47) Good night (1039) Bad night (6522) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today

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  (301): Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today http://tfl.nu/gkj4
  Replies (13) Good night (5200) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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  (303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi
  Replies (11) Good night (4208) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.

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  (530): You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her. http://tfl.nu/7jba
  Replies (6) Good night (3839) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by

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  (718): Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by http://tfl.nu/75m6
  Replies (8) Good night (2001) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Im 95% ready to shit behind 711

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  (360): Im 95% ready to shit behind 711 http://tfl.nu/2mf3
  Replies (4) Good night (1071) Bad night (1989) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing

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  (516): my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing http://tfl.nu/sqvp
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (1281) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.

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  (360): He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way. http://tfl.nu/k068
  Replies (7) Good night (448) Bad night (1221) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

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  (503): Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in. http://tfl.nu/17i8
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt

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