A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
