Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
