I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.