I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
