Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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